Last week, an online acquaintance told me her pastor had preached a sermon comparing women who’ve had sex outside of marriage to dirty toothbrushes.

I suppose the idea is that premarital sex makes you dirty, and so why would anyone want to clean their teeth with you. It’s a rough metaphor, but it’s effective—and it’s one I’ve heard variations on for most of my life in the Church. So, in the spirit of multiplying the effectiveness of this analogy, here are some ways to apply this line of thinking to other sins. 

Disrespecting Authorities

Verse: 1 Peter 2:13-14: Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.

Analogy: People who disrespect their local authorities are like an empty fastfood cup on the side of the road, with a few dozens gnats buzzing around the rim, sucking up the lukewarm film of remaining soda.

Lying

Verse: 1 Peter 3:10: “For whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”

Analogy: People who lie are like wadded up tissues someone has blown their nose into and then stuffed into a purse, but then forget to take out so they just stay in there for a few days, crusting over.

Coveting

Verse: Luke 12:15: “Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'”

Analogy: People who covet what their neighbors have are like a really terrible ad jingle for a commercial to some local family-owned restaurant that sticks in your head for days, slowly driving you to madness.

Wrath

Verse: Colossians 3:8: “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”

Analogy: People who get mad are like a mouthful of spiders.

Pride

Verse: Proverbs 15:25: “The Lord tears down the house of the proud, but he sets the widow’s boundary stones in place.”

Analogy: Proud people are like a small infection that slowly and irrevocably transforms your body and mind into that of a colossal squid.

General Foolishness

Verse: Proverbs 24:9: “The schemes of folly are sin, and people detest a mocker.”

Analogy: Foolish people are like the Star Wars prequels.