The perfect mug is not clear, my dears

Not clear

Clear is cheap and very tacky

And full of thumb grease smudges

The perfect mug has a round lip, very thin

Not thick

For if I wanted to taste porcelain when I drink coffee

I would dunk a Precious Moment in a latte

You can fit three fingers through the handle of a perfect mug

And the handle is not so close to the cup that you torch your knuckles

Not fun

The perfect mug is halfway between big and small, but nearer to small

Small keeps your drink hot, if it is coffee

And your head clear, if it is spiked

It may have pictures, but never scenery.

It may have characters, but never cartoons

It may have words, but never quotes

The perfect mug is probably, though not necessarily, brown.

And the perfect mug definitely exists

I just don’t own it yet

Not yet